Sunday, August 22, 2010

Every Day a Gift, Every Day a Choice

During my life before ALS, the thoughts that often filled my mornings had to do with things like how quickly I had to be out the door, which clients I’d be seeing that day, which projects had to be addressed, which planes or trains had to be caught, what office work needed to be done, and when I could fit in a workout. These days, my focus is quite different. As Diane scurries around our bedroom preparing to begin her day, I am slowly stirred to consciousness. The first thing that usually captures my attention is the resistance of my left eye to open. Between the overnight secretions of my eyelids and the minor weakening that ALS has achieved over the muscles that control them, most mornings I awaken to the sensation that someone has mischievously crazy glued my left eye shut. In the struggle to free it, the thought often enters my mind that ALS may be winning the battle of the eyelid. Thus, my first choice of the day presents itself. Do I give in to the panic of projection that one day my eyelids may not part, and succumb to the disappointment, frustration, and fear that accompany that thought? Or, do I choose to remain present to the moment, stay calm, and save my energy for opening the eye? So far the latter choice has consistently served me well.

Having won this battle, and achieved a little more consciousness, I proceed to the recitation of my gratitude list, taking the opportunity to revel in the gift of another day.. Recounting the many blessings and joys in my life focuses my mind for the day on being present to the positives. And so I begin: “I am grateful for the trees, the shrubs, the grass …,my wife…, children…, family, friends, congregation, caregivers, colleagues, my home,….” After the gratitude list comes a series of affirmations, a series of statements designed also to focus my thoughts in a positive direction. A good resource for learning this process, and designing a list of affirmations that will work for you is Louise Hay’s book, You Can Heal Your Life. My list includes statements like: “I am accepting the abundance of healing energy in the universe, and I am grateful to participate. I believe in living in the moment, total present time, going with the flow, and loving the challenges. I am grateful for the gifts in my life constantly. I live in gratitude and abundance always.”

My list has grown to more than 40 affirmative statements that I have now been reciting every morning, without fail, for the past four years. Sometimes, I have completed the list by the time my health aide, Jimmy, enters the room with a cheery “Good morning, Joe. How are you today?”, as he begins to prepare me for the day. When I have not finished by the time Jimmy arrives, I simply continue silently, as he takes me through the morning paces. If he or Diane has a question or comment, I will address it and then calmly return to my affirmations, always remembering that the purpose is to keep my mind operating in a positive energy field.

Inevitably, thoughts will emerge about activities I used to enjoy in which my body will not currently allow me to participate. Thoughts like these have the potential to drag me into a dark place filled with sadness and other negative emotions, which do not promote healing. Each time my thoughts lead me toward that dark path, I use affirmations to shift my attention back to the gifts and sources of joy in my life. Suddenly, I am noticing the antics of the squirrels, birds, and deer outside my bedroom window that quickly bring a smile to my face. Each time my thoughts drift to the darkness, I am challenged to make a choice about where to put my attention. Living with ALS provides a constant stream of opportunities to make such choices. In order to hold open the possibility of recovering from ALS, or other serious illnesses, experience has shown me the importance of keeping the mind positively focused to promote healing throughout the body. Attending to the mind/body connection has contributed to improvements in my sleep pattern, elimination of chronic pain, and improvements in body functions. So, I work very consciously to enjoy the gift of each new day, and to make choices that promote my healing.

What experiences have you had that demonstrate the health connection between mind and body? Let me hear from you.

2 comments:

  1. You most certainly have done an amazing and eloquent job in expressing your feelings about the inner struggles and limitations you've encountered throughout the past decade...and yes Joe, you are inspiring and motivating to others in helping them cope.

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  2. Yesterday morning the neurologist told me I may have ALS. I am numb with fear and can't sleep. My friends tell me to not give up hope, but as I lie in bed, trying to sleep, the new symptoms alarm me. It seems to be progressing fast. I did get out my copy of "You can Heal Your Life" and am contacting a hypnotherapist as well as a holistic practionier. I am walking with crutches, so I will add that to my gratitude list. Mostly I need to deal with my intense fear. Your account gives me a sliver of hope. Jennifer

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